You know better. That “Prince in Nigeria” doesn’t really have millions of dollars to wire you, you won’t lose 20 lbs in one week with that new “miracle” pill, and user profile Cutiexoxo92 is not lonely looking for you to come over. You are too smart to fall for all of that, right?
Often times instead of critically assessing a decision before we make it, we (as evolved humans) make decisions based on emotions. Then we find supporting evidence to prove our decision was right. We even go so far as to believe we made an objective decision based on facts initially.
In regards to hookup dating sites, we have to look at the process we go through as males when we see their advertisements. It’s extremely simplistic but it plays to our evolved male brain in the worst way. Don’t think you can’t fall prey, these scams can happen to highly intelligent people too.
1. First, we see boobies. Yes, an attractive women can send us into a man trance.
2. While we’re in our man trance, we are much more vulnerable to accepting ideas that compete with our previously held beliefs. This sets us into a mode of cognitive dissonance.
3. Now that we’re in this state, we’re vulnerable to believe things we previously knew not to be true. For example, if another guy had told you he signed up for a hookup site you’re first thought might be “those things are all scams.” Then later, when you’re on a hookup site welcome screen with several attractive and alluring profile pictures, you’re much more likely to believe it’s a viable site.
4. Once we have shifted our paradigm to believe something new, we’ll immediately start justifying this new belief to ourself. The best scammer in this process is actually you. You are now in a self perpetuating cycle of convincing yourself further. (ie: Cutiexoxo92 is real and she really is looking for a guy like me)
5. Then comes the denial. You were set up, but admitting this to yourself is so hard that you will actually defend the scammer. (Fascinating article from the new york times explaining how Charles Ponzi’s victims still believed they’d get their money back plus interest even after he was in prison.)
6. Hopefully the last step is admitting the truth to yourself, but this is the least likely of all the steps to ever go through. As a guy reading this, you are already ahead of the game. Knowing what’s coming will help prevent you from falling for it.
The hookup sites take advantage of us in this vulnerable state and rip millions of guys off every year. “Adult Dating” is estimated to be a $2 billion a year industry and it’s not going away any time soon unless more guys help get the word out.
If we’re hard-wired to fall for this stuff, can we prevent it?
Some of us may in fact, have a predisposition to fall for certain scams regardless of our intelligence. Don’t assume that because you’re intelligent you won’t fall for a scam. The best way to avoid scams is to be aware of the scams in the first place. In specific regards to hookup site scams, recognize when you’re in a “man trance” and don’t let yourself fall victim to it.
Hookup sites are all scams, now what?
Try a webcam service or some high quality porn. Yes, the good stuff costs money. At least you get what you pay for. The girls below are actually the same girls you will see online and interactive with.
Free porn is good too if you aren’t bored of that yet.
P.S. Yes, it’s true that I do promote sexy webcams on this site, but I wouldn’t promote them if I didn’t believe so strongly in them as the single best alternative to all of the “adult dating” crap out there.